Thursday, August 07, 2008

Moaney Moaney

Hello Folks ....We have just had our first visitors, Tom and Anne..(My Cousins) and Seamus (Jackies brother) ....We had a lovely few days with Seamus and here we are, mid winter at Cottesloe Beach




Lots of our friends are planning emigration and Perth is great...However lets dispell some myths....

YES You can get a cold in Australia, even when its in the middle of summer and the temperature is in the low hundreds every day.
I think it comes down to the crappy nights due to the hot nights. Oh and the dehydration due to the unhealthy mix of beer and hot nights....


YES IT DOES RAIN...Perth gets more rain per year than Manchester!!!! but is concentrated in 4/5 months...the summers..(as you will read) are bloody long and hot...During the weekend there was a sever weather warning and we were advised to move anything ‘loose’ such as garden furniture from outside to under cover to minimise the possibility of damage....I’m not talking about the flatulent variety either. I’m talking about seriously strong wind of the climatological kind so serious in fact that they even gained tornado status!...The Gill chose this weekend to go away...The Sat Nav broke in the middle of a forest and we drove for hours with no clue where we were...all the time afraid we would be struck by lightening...crushed by giant hailstones...or blown away....We did still have a great holiday whale watching in the Margaret River area.
http://www.margaretriver.com/

I thought I would recount our first Summer 2006.

Diary of a The Gill's first Summer in Perth
August 31st
Just moved into our new home in Perth, Western Australia now this is a City that knows how to live!!Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 13th..(Jackies Birthday)
The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.Missed 3 days of work. What a stupid thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like s***. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant feckin blow dryer!! And it’s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $1,000,000 house and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It’s 38 degrees. Finally got the ol’ air-conditioner fixed today.It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like it’s about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid friggin place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to throttle him. Friggin heat! By the time I get to work the car’s radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol’ car. I thought my friggin arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and friggin sunny. It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the pool. Even the palms can’t live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner’s gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?” Jackie had to stop me assaulting the BASTARD. Stuff Perth! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding!!