Tooth Hurty

What a GREAT week... West Brom got promoted back to the Premier League which means I will be able to watch them every week on the TV...... I also had a comic moment you dream about. On Saturday I broke a tooth.....On sunday, I visited Dr Chin (a Chinese Dentist) ...the appointment time ......(Wait for it....)....2:30.....(Come on how funny is that)...More about Dentists later...

Their is something exciting about watching English football when you live in Australia. It is always dark outside, it is always late at night, or the early ours and I am usually alone...although I get texts throughout the game from agonised mates going through the torture of being a West Brom fan...comments like .."Why do I do this, they always let me down"...often followed by...."Yes I knew we'd do it"... I sometimes feel like a very distant agony aunt who is just as anxious herself...

I am so glad we are back..for myself my friends, but mostly for my boys, who still support the 'Albion', despite living in a country where only Man U... Liverpool..Arsenal...and Chelsea figure. I always get a lump in the throat when my boys wear their Albion shirts and proudly explain for the tenth time...'I support West Brom cus they are the greatest'. And now they are at least back in the big time...West Brom is mine...my Dad's..my brothers and lots of my families team and it links my boys to their 'black country' heritage and links them to my loved ones...They are proudly Irish and Catholic....like their mum and her great family but they are also black country lads like my Dad...Grandad..and Great Grandad...However I remind them supporting the Albion is like tooth ache at times...which brings me back to Dentists...

Growing up, I never had a problem going to the dentist. I, unlike most children who feared the sights, sounds, and smells of the dental office, actually enjoyed going. But as a 40+-old with sensitive teeth, a routine cleaning has become the bain of my existence.

To illustrate the point, I've made a list of what it was like to go to the dentist then and what it's like to go to the dentist now.

Then:There were plenty of comics to read in the waiting room. Beano/Dandy/Tiger and Scorcher , how I miss you!
Now:You're lucky if there's an issue of Newsweek from June '02.

Then:The Dentist had posters of cartoon characters happily brushing and flossing.
Now:The Dentist has posters of adult gingivitis and oral cancer. Bleeding gums and black teeth are not very appetizing before lunch.

Then:The Dentist used disclosing tablets that turned my teeth bright red in order to show me where the plaque was (and really, what 8-year-old boy wouldn't love to have red teeth?).
Now: The Dentist must've been a torturer in a former life because this lady can scrape and prod like nobody's business.

Then:No bills to pay and the receptionist loaded me down with parting gifts: a sparkly purple toothbrush, bubble gum-flavored toothpaste, a smiley face sticker, and a cherry lollipop.
Now:I pay the bills. 'Nuff said.

Love stew

No Fashion Sense

Hello Bloggers, here is a true tale to make you parents, shoppers and teenagers all smile...

When in the UK last 2007 my son purchased lots and lots of Lonsdale and Everlast clothing only to find out that....(according to his friends in the UK) it was naff, chavvy and NOT to be worn...As his one mate said...'did you buy the bottle of white lightning cider to go with the t shirt'...so he promptly threw away the lot before we came back to Australia..."I don't want anyone laughing at me at my new school"...he stated....


We arrive in Australia only to discover that Lonsdale and Everlast tee shirts and clothing is the height of fashion and very very expensive....

This plain Everlast shirt.....UK price £4.00......Aussie Price......$45.00...=£21.00

This Lonsdale hoodie....UK....£12.99...Aussie....$67.00

As my son, James says..... doh!!!





Love Stew

Boys and their Toys

Hello bloggers.....

what a great week it has been.The boys have broken up for the easter holidays and we continue to house hunt. All the advice seems to be around waiting it out awhile and picking up a bargain later in the year.. Here is the house we almost bought (We put an offer in and changed our minds)..http://reiwa.com/lst/lst-ressale-details.cfm?prop_no=29&searchRef=Ocean%20Reef&ID=2413314

James continues to play indoor cricket now it is winter and his team...The Sharks Everyone has to have nicknames on their shirts (It is the law in Australia) here is James with his mate, Jack 'Barks' Barker...(Everyone in Australia has a nickname...Everyone...arghhhhh)

Stephen is playing 'soccer' ...football, for Heathridge Soccer club, as is James. Here is Stephen, minus front teeth, with a team mate.

On Saturday evening we went to an Astronomical Society event and took the boys and their friends, Jack and Nathan...wow... we looked at the moon...mars...gas nebulas..?? all for $30 (13 quid) we followed that with a trip to the Joondalup show...(So great we went on Sunday too) Fab Four Beatles tribute....fireworks....break dancing...fairground rides...lots of food stallls.... oh and 30 degrees......Just like Birmingham on a Saturday.....

James and myself went to a birthday party at a great place called Lazer Corp, which is an outdoor lazer fighting venue...Great..... men and Boys allowed to run around shooting each other followed by a beer and Sausage sizzle (Regular term used here for a sausage based Barbie)...As you can see the boys look ready for action..lets hope they never have to do this for real...

It is always important to remember that real men and boys have done it for real and we have ANZAC Day to help everyone remember. For those in non Aussie countries ANZAC Day – 25 April – is probably Australia's most important national occasion. It marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. The soldiers in those forces quickly became known as ANZACs, and the pride they soon took in that name endures to this day.
Stew

Complain... Me.....Never

Well as I sit here today I am trying to decide if I am having a panic attack or a coronary….. this used to be a regular occurrence for me, as I was a confirmed hypochondriac. However like to feel I am reformed…I do, however have to be aware at all times of the possibility of a relapse into my former condition…..maybe it is just a cold…or flu…no, bird flu……or it could be the half bottle of wine I had last night….

People are always calling me a hypochondriac and let me tell you...it just makes me sick.

The reason for this rather strange opening paragraph is the thought I often have about ‘things going too well’…I mean I have a lovely family, great job, I live in a paradise country, I am very handsome…just checking you are still reading… and West Brom are playing well…so why do we always fear something will take it away….

I explored this and have discovered we are all the same, just waiting for some bastard to ruin things…I think it goes back to that childhood experience of someone kicking over our ‘lego’ tower or sandcastle….you know, I am often left thinking…. ‘If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.’…

Well the problem is, who do we complain to about worry eh??…I am certainly not going to upset god …just in case…so I complain and moan about things, purchases and services work best..

Here are some genuine Council Complaints from across the UK and Australia..they are funny…and you know I am feeling better…

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off .

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and she would like it in the garden before we move house.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.
I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6a.m., his cock wakes me up and now it's getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife
I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.

My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

...and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take any more.

LOVE STEW

They do things different here

Hello folks...Well the more I live in Australia the more I realise just how different they do things and how uniquely British/American/Australian they are.....Here are some strange illustrations of very American like churches and their signs and some number plates we have photographed...These are all genuine by the way

Exhibit 1) Unfortunately, it is to be followed by Miserable May.

Exhibit 2)..I can't bare much more

Exhibit 3)..No it really does say what you think....We took this last week....


Exhibit 4)....A man with Taste..Actually my birthday pressie

Well we have a very very busy weekend James has his 13th birthday party...West Coast Eagles play our beloved Fremantle Dockers...The West Brom play a semi final..and James plays soccer....err....Football..on Sunday...Oh and Jackie has become a muslim.....