The Invitation

Hello bloggers…thought I would share a bizarre evening spent at Fremantle with my family (Jackie , James and Stephen)….brother in law and assorted others….

Well, the day started like any other….sun…..cricket…pool….and then…!!! A text message from Seamus..( brother in law) inviting us to;

1) View the newly named Steve Irwin boat, with a promise of an on board tour….and a possible meeting with Bindy and her mum etc….
and
2) Attend a book awards presentation.. Honouring the West Australian Maritime museum….mmmm… not our usual idea of fun but the promise of free food and drink swung it…

Mrs Steve Irwin wonders...where are Jackie and Stewart.....?

Well, the Steve Irwin was a fine looking vessel, however NO tours were happening and Bindy Irwin was not even in Perth….Ok, not a great start, but surely the awards ceremony would be a swanky affair packed with Australia’s finest……???..well….....

......No it wasn’t. Seamus met us and we were led into Perth’s oldest building..... which was full…(Well...err... 15 people) of Perth’s oldest professors…Seamus (59) was the young thrusting future of Perth academic research...a sort of Harry Potter amongst the old Wizards...…I (45) was like Pike from Dad’s Army…Jackie and the Kids were looked at like they were exhibits in a museum…

Now, I hear you ask…'what was the food and drink like’??…Well, two bottles of wine and a carton of orange were never going to satisfy the collective thirst…especially that, given the professors ages, most had to swallow medication with some sort of drink at regular intervals...I swear I am not making this up. Also Seamus tends to view wine as ‘gods gift’ ..just for him…
Seamus, incidentally was sweating more than any human I have seen. His sweat had sweat on it at one point and his shirt resembled a used flannel….

And so to the ceremony…Well the winner didn’t bother to show up…and neither did two of the judges!!….I stood next to a guy who looked exactly like Uncle Albert…complete with little sailors cap…really..... I really am not making this up…Jackie was, for some reason …mistaken for the woman who was taking over the West Australian Maritime museum web site….and was being questioned on her knowledge of the 1912 Australian Naval fleet …all with a look of ‘kill me’ written on her face…believe me, the opportunity of taking Stephen to the toilet was like hearing the judge declare you ‘not guilty’.

Jackie smiles for a Professor
We made our excuses and ran away…very quickly….

Have Perthy on us

Hello Blog fans....Well Perth has been in the news this week.....Wow I hear you Yawn....
I was lucky enough to meet ms Rice and she loved the blouse I bought for her......I was very upset by the way the media viewed my choice.....
Condoleezza Rice showed a little bit more than she intended at a recent Perth visit, courtesy her flesh-coloured blouse. Rice started day two of her Perth stopover with a morning coffee at trendy Perth cafe Cino To Go, with her host, Australian local immigrant, Stewart Gill. With the camera lights flashing her blouse appeared a little more revealing that she would have expected. Later, Rice cheered and applauded by 450 schoolgirls after answering their questions during a visit to their school.

In world news .... Radovan Karadzic was supposedly captured I found myself thinking he could have hidden in Perth and would never have been found. I found myself asking......

Karadzic. .....Who Did They Really Capture?
I think we’re all agreed it isn’t Karadzic, so who did they really arrest?
Suggestions so far:
Willie Nelson.
Santa Claus.
Charles Darwin .
Fidel Castro ..
Chuck Norris.
Karl Marx.
Uncle Albert.
Brian Blessed.
The Arch Bishop of Canterbury.

Saddam Hussein...again.

My guess is that LARGE beards make people EVIL..... Here is the proof

Australia not just the Barbie capital of the World..... they love fast food and pastries...This has lead to an obesity epidemic...this is strange and worrying as we came here for a healthier lifestyle. The following article says it all...

As Australia sends its Olympic team to Beijing, just how representative is this trim and taut group compared to the rest of the country? If you thought Australians are all home doing their routine 26-mile run, beating their personal best in the pool and then fortifying themselves with a macrobiotic diet, there is only one response -- fat chance!
The average Australian is breaking records all right, but it has more to do with the waistline than the finish line. Australia has become the fattest nation in the world, with the highest proportion of its population overweight. Australia has more than nine million adults obese or overweight, according to a report by Australia's Baker Heart and Diabetes Institute released last month. The latest figures show four million Australians -- or 26% of the adult population -- are now obese, compared to 25% of Americans.

Given the above here is McDonalds response

Have you ever woken up and needed 4 eggs, 5 pieces of bacon, 2 sausage patties, 6 pieces of cheese, 3 chicken nuggets, some onion rings,and mayonaise on a giant sourdough roll to get you going in the morning? Well your prayers have been answered. Those are the ingredients to McDonald's new breakfast sandwich, "The HeartBreaker".With 2,000 calories, 120g fat, 125g carbohydrates, and a whopping 3,600mg sodium, "The HeartBreaker" more than doubles its competition in nutritional value. McDonald's announced the sandwich as part of a new campaign aimed at the 18-34 yr. old men market. "This is a sandwich for real men

This is What should happen to Ronald McDonald...

No Fashion Sense

Hello Bloggers, here is a true tale to make you parents, shoppers and teenagers all smile...

When in the UK last 2007 my son purchased lots and lots of Lonsdale and Everlast clothing only to find out that....(according to his friends in the UK) it was naff, chavvy and NOT to be worn...As his one mate said...'did you buy the bottle of white lightning cider to go with the t shirt'...so he promptly threw away the lot before we came back to Australia..."I don't want anyone laughing at me at my new school"...he stated....


We arrive in Australia only to discover that Lonsdale and Everlast tee shirts and clothing is the height of fashion and very very expensive....

This plain Everlast shirt.....UK price £4.00......Aussie Price......$45.00...=£21.00

This Lonsdale hoodie....UK....£12.99...Aussie....$67.00

As my son, James says..... doh!!!





Love Stew

MEN AND SHOPPING

Hello I have emails asking for more personal stuff on 'life in Australia'

Let me know if you enjoy my writing style I am trying to improve.

Thursdays are generally family days, well family evenings actually. In Western Australia we only have ‘late night’ shopping on Thursday and as I and the children, tend to be playing sport on Saturdays. Thursdays have become our family shopping time…oh goody.

Last Thursday, Mrs Gill was in shoe-shopping mode, which means hours and hours of making some poor bloke in a cheap suit fetch endless boxes of more or less identical footwear and then deciding not to have anything, so I and the boys wisely decided to clear off and have a look at the toys, gadgets and other things that really interest men and boys.

To show her I love her, I first took her and the boys to the food court where we ate and she issued me with her usual precise instructions for a rendezvous. ‘Seven o’clock outside Woolworth’s. But listen – stop fiddling with that and listen - if Dingo & Wombat don’t have the shoes I want I’ll have to go to Beggs, in which case meet me at 7.15 by the frozen foods in the ING supermarket. Otherwise I’ll be in Angus & Robertson in the cookery books section or possibly the children’s books - unless I’m in Big W feeling toasters. But probably, in fact, I’ll be at Dingo & Wombat, trying on all the same shoes all over again, in which case meet me outside live clothing, no later than 7.27. Have you got that?’
‘Yes.’….(No).
‘Don’t let me down.’
‘Of course not.’ (In your dreams.)

I love shopping on my own and actually relish following a list supplied by my wife. However I hate the endless waiting for your other half and there is a universal look men give each other in shoe and clothing shops across the world.
Recently, in my local shopping centre, whilst waiting for Jackie to look at the same blouse for the tenth time I spotted a bloke in a suit sitting next to a pile of shopping bags. He had an enormous Australian beard – (Picture Billy Connelly) and the sort of world-weary look of someone who has long since abandoned hope of going home for a beer. ‘Have you been here long?’ I asked. He exhaled thoughtfully and said: ‘Put it this way mate. I was clean shaven when I got here.’ I just love that.

http://www.westfield.com/whitfordcit

STEWY

When Irish Eyes are Aussie

Hello blog lovers.

“slainte agus fad saol chughat is go b,fhaig tu pog anocht”

Happy Easter and St Patricks weekend.

I love my connection to the Irish. I married the daughter of Irish Parents, have wonderful Irish in-laws...'The McElroys' (Those of us Married to the McElroys were christened the 'Outlaws' by Bernadette, my wifes sister....we got our revenge by starting the 'I married a McElroy' Club...see t shirts...still available upon request) and two boys who know and love their Irish routes.

http://www.mcelroyclan.zoomshare.com/

The Irish tradition of travel has been a long one and helps those of us a long way from home feel somehow connected to an Irish culture. Often through the usual Irish theme pub, but more importantly through the work of enthusiastic individuals like those featured in this web site:

http://www.blarneybulletin.com/

Anyhow it is always great to pretend to be Irish if only for a day and I like the effect Guinness has on me, leaving me...full and satified...like a good Irish meal...

I was trying to find an Irish joke that didn't follow the drinking stereotype and came across this one...I liked it a lot....

A Dog’s Funeral
Muldoon, an Irish immigrant in Australia lived alone in the bush with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not, we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some methodists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.
Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away, Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough for donate for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus? Why didn’t ya’ tell me the dog was Catholic?”

Love The Gills