Ashes to Tashes

Shower Watch.....66-3...Yes an Aussie showered this week...well, I say Aussie. "Dunks" was born in England.....

Come on England....4-1

The Club I play Cricket for are Supporting a great mens health Charity. MOVEMBER

http://www.movember.com/au/whatismov/

Well. The Aussies never fail to amuse...In a Country that never picks a real Australian to play for them (i.e. anyone who is Aboriginal, black...asian...) this great email was sent to me

'Sajid Mahmood – Fast Bowler, well you even bagged him, so enough said, but with such a english name as mahmood i'm sure he's up to the english high standards of ronnie irani and the other blokes your drag off the streets, say here's 50 quid if you play for us.'

With the Ashes in full swing and the fans on both sides warming up the vocal chords I do have to say. The Aussie fans are C**p they cannot hope to win the humourous chant battle. We are too experienced and they are too thick...Here are some of their attempts...

'Cheer up Michael Vaughan. How bad must it be,
To a be a poor pommie whinger,And you're watching on TV?'

A poor pommie whinger? Hah, I remember a certain ricky ponting whinging when he was comically run out by a certain Gary Pratt at Trent Bridge. (They catch our lads with a sub...no whingeing)

Plus Vaughan won’t be watching on TV, he’ll be in Australia laughing.

Then there’s this one:

Monty Panesar's useless, A poor old English chap,And when he's not spin bowling,No fan will ever clap. (Actually monty gets the biggest ovations from the crowd EVERY time he touches the ball)
He's useless in the covers,He's useless in the slips. (He doesn’t field in the slips, so why chant that.)
And when he straps the pads on, He'll pass out with the yips. (Oh I see what you’ve done)

One question: Why aren’t there any parodies of Australian bands like Jet and AC/DC... oh I know why, because they’re both extremely crap. You see we have the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Oasis, The Clash, Sex Pistols, The Who….

Here is a Barmy Army chant, hopefully this will inspire themto write some decent chants.
(To the tune of "Yellow Submarine")

In the town where I was born, there lived a man who was a thief.
And he told me of his life, stealing bread and shagging sheep.
So they put him in the nick, and then a magistrate he went to see
He said "put him on a ship, to the convict colony"
"You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony
You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony"

Sung to the tune of ‘Advance Australia Fair’


“About 200 years ago my Grandad stole a bike,
They put him on a prison ship with the blokes that the poms don’t like,
And now we’re all back over here drinking fizzy beer
And wearing 1980s clothes With haircuts that look queer!”


Stew