Didgeredon't

Let me start by saying Australians are great. However they do have some strange ideas about the English...

1. We don't shower.... Well, I have now played four Cricket games and I am the only one to shower in all four games...44 to one in favour of the Pommies!!! believe me shower gel and deodorant are cheaply available over here...
2. We have no sense of humour...Well I placed a bet on England to win the Ashes 4-0 at 251/1...so that disproves that one..
3. The English are snobs...no we have a history and Culture to be proud of.....What the difference between Australia and Yoghurt....Yoghurt has a culture after 200 years!!
4. We all whinge. Well ok they do have a point although they do have politicans worthy of a good moan.

Any how here is a Australian Joke

An Aussie fella who was working on contract for 3 months in the UK, was drinking in a local pub in England, gets a Call on his mobile phone.

He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, he orders a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, because, he announces his wife back home has just produced a typical baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Perth lad just shrugs, "That's about average in Australia. Like I said, my boy is a typical Aussie baby boy.

Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of "Christ al mighty" were heard. One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains.Two weeks later the bloke returns to the bar.

The bartender says "You're the father of that typical Aussie baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth.Everybody's been having bets about how big he'd be in 2 weeks we were going to call you.

So, how much does he weigh now?

The proud father answers, '17 pounds"

The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born.The Aussie father takes a long s-l-o-w swig from his beer, Wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leansonto the bar and proudly says.............."Had him circumcised mate"

What I have noticed is in Australia...

• The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
• The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
• Whether its the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
  
• On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves. Or really stinky sandshoes.
• A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
• It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
  
• And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one says "cobber"..
  

Stew